Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Radio Silence

In the event of an apocalypse, the silence would frighten me the most. Think about all the noise in our lives from television, the internet, text messages, Twitter, Facebook, advertisements, our families and friends...

If I was fortunate to survive the cataclysmic event, the silence would be maddening.

I've been relatively silent lately. I'd love to say it was because of all the writing I'm doing. Not so. I'm struggling to stay afloat with baby Elliot, Max's health concerns, making sure Owen knows we still love him even though the other brothers are sapping 95% of our energy. My wife goes back to work tomorrow, and that's added a little stress, too.

I need to write now more than ever. It's my therapy and my drug and my salvation.

I need to write, but just when I need it, the time doesn't exist. I've scratched out maybe 20K words this year so far. Maybe. I've only edited an submitted one short story. I have novel ideas which threaten to die in their infancy if I can't find a release valve.

And the silence is killing me. (And by "killing" I mean figuratively.)


Deborah Walker said...

The time will come for you, Aaron. And the words will be waiting.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

E. Arroyo said...

Time. That @#$# It helps me sometimes to use a voice recorder while driving, doing laundry, or just walking --yeah, folks think I'm nuts--just so I don't lose my mind and the stories in it.


Aaron Polson said...

Deborah - Thanks. We're doing much "better"--just ridiculously busy.

E. - Voice recorder! I need to dig mine out. I haven't used it in years. Thanks!

Cate Gardner said...

Aimee's going back to work already! In the UK, maternity leave is usually about 9 months to a year.

Hope little Max is better soon.

Aaron Polson said...

Cate - We have a rather draconian system here in the States. Twelve weeks is the maximum required leave by law; Aimee only had enough paid leave time for eight. We are on school schedules, though, with a break (holiday) for a week in March and the end of the school year in May. We can do it.

And Max is doing much better. He has been to the specialist about once a week, but I think (hope) we are about out of those woods. I prefer fictional, monster-infested woods over the metaphoric ones. Cheers!

Katey said...

Glad to hear from your above comment that Max is doing better. I've been thinking of you guys. It's a crappy, stressful time, and I can only imagine how your itch to write must grow daily. But I suppose the good thing about being an author is that bad things/hard times are story ideas waiting to happen.

Andrea Allison said...

I know what you mean about all the noise in our lives. Every time we have a storm and the power goes out, it's eerie.

I know things are a bit chaotic now but I'm sure they'll settle sooner or later. Glad to hear Max is doing better.

Daniel Powell said...


We're shooting prayers and happy thoughts your way. Circle the wagons, my man. Circle the wagons and everything will be there when the air clears.

jan said...

Been there, too. Done all that. Sometimes I think a post-apocalyptic world would be the perfect place for a writer. For now, be in the moment. Don't wish too many things away. You are living an amazing story!

Unknown said...

I know right where you're at. My wife went back to work just a couple of weeks after my daughter was born.

My wife and I have both gone through job troubles and now she's a full time student. I've gone for long periods without being able to write, and when this happens I've been told I'm not the best guy to be around.

Just keep typing away. Even if it's just five words a week. It's a race of endurance. You're a talented writer. I have no doubt that your time is coming.

Aaron Polson said...

Katey - so true. Life gives us the best stories.

Andrea - Thanks!

Daniel - I'll try not to catch too many arrows. ;)

Jan - Cheers!

Gabriel - Thanks for your kind words--all I can do is keep writing.

Bobbie Metevier said...

Hang in there Aaron. My family issues and child's health have also slowed me way down this year.