Showing posts with label The House Eaters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The House Eaters. Show all posts

Monday, April 9, 2012

Our Stories Define Us


A few pieces of bright writing news surfaced in the middle of last week's morass:

My short story, "Scar Tissue Wings", will appear in this year's Triangulation: Morning After anthology (pending a few edits). Thanks to Stephen Ramey and the crew for including my work again. "Scar Tissue Wings" was written as a response to my time in the hospital with Max back in December. Funny how stories give us perspective.

I received a contract from the incomparable Jodi Lee for "The Monster Game" which will appear in Return to New Bedlam. Jodi kindly asked if I'd like to include Aimee's name in the dedication. Thanks, Jodi.

My books are slowly resurfacing in Amazon.com's Kindle store. You can now find digital copies of Echoes of the Dead and The House Eaters with more on the way. All the "also boughts" are gone, but the books are there. Two weeks ago, this seemed like the most important thing in my life.

I was young and foolish, then.



The world is absurd. Just absurd.

Thanks for sharing it with me.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Happy Birthday to Me (with free books for you)

It's my party and I'll give away anything I want.

Use the following codes for free ebooks at Smashwords (click on the cover for the link):

Code: FF45T


Code: AE44L


Code: RK92P


Code:  NV35C


Code: XV89M

Rawr. 

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I am an Ant

For all of my marketing and promotion, I could not touch the toenails of what Amazon.com has done. Since We are the Monsters became free, the book has been downloaded 6,418* times in less than two days.

My best month for any book, even at 99 cents, was 37 sales.

37. If I wait a half-hour, I'll have 37 more "sales" at the free price. Probably more.

We are the Monsters is now #1 in Kindle Store>Kindle eBooks>Fiction>Genre Fiction>Horror>Ghosts and #23 in the Free Store.

Talk about scary. It's even bumped sales of my other books (The House Eaters in particular--24 copies in two days). I couldn't pay for this kind of advertising, but I guess I am, in a way. The book is FREE. It's a good little book. I thought about sending it out on submission, but went the Kindle route instead. Glad I did. I'll speak about "writing magic" in another post; for now, just believe this little ebook is special. I need special right now.**

* 6450 by the time I finished the post.***
** Not only is our house in pieces on purpose (remodeling), we lost our phone, my computer (hands cramping on the netbook right now), and the fan on our furnace/air conditioner due to last night's thunderstorm/too close for comfort lightning strike. Not good. Not good at all.
***6456. Scary.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

#samplesunday The House Eaters Chapter 2

(for chapter one, check here)

I slowed a bit, not so sure if I wanted the wax relic to notice me. Something wasn’t right. His hair was weird, wispy and thin like stretched bits of cotton, and he hunched over, sort of like his spine was cracked in two and he learned to walk without it.

Maybe the House seeped into my brain a little too much. Maybe I was already missing my friends. The Hollow was cell phone black hole for sure; I lost service as soon as Dad steered around the final curve in our approach to town. The clouds didn’t help—not the best omen on moving day, especially in the usually dry midsummer heat.

“Nick,” Mom said, smiling her best, though exhausted. “This is Mr. Sanderson, one of our new neighbors.”

The relic poked his hand at me, and I mean relic. I thought at first he lost his hand in the war, whatever war he was young enough to fight. Then I noticed fingers unfold from the splotchy thing he offered me. When I touched it, though, my heart eased into a cruising speed. Not the clammy paw I expected.

“Nick,” I said.

“Hello, Nicholas. I’m Jeb Sanderson. I had a son like you, once.” His voice eked out, small and quiet. I almost had to ask him to repeat himself. Then his grip tightened on my hand, and he leaned closer, looking me over with his eyes, two wet marbles with too much white. He smelled a little like black licorice. “Welcome to the Hollow… or Evergreen Estates, as it stands now.”

Jeb Sanderson was the first person to call the place “the Hollow,” and, for me at least, the name stuck. He looked hollow, especially his eyes—like something was missing.

“Jeb was telling us a bit about the new development,” Mom said. “Says one other couple has moved in.”

“Great.” I slowly retrieved my hand from Sanderson’s grip. “I’m going to head in, see about sorting my clothes or something.”

“Nice to meet you, Nicholas.”

I nodded quickly, trying to smile at least a little, then brushed past Mom on the way inside. Sanderson watched me the whole time, burning me with those wet marble eyes.

~

My sister, Tabby—although she insisted on being called Tabitha as soon as she turned thirteen—was in her room going obsessive-compulsive on her closet. She pushed her face into the hallway as I walked by.

“Did you see the old guy?” She smashed her eyebrows down with disgust. Tabby and I could be twins, except for the gender difference and three years separation and all. Sure, she was a little on the short side, and I topped out just over six feet, but we both had naturally curly hair—dark brown—and pale blue eyes set in slender faces. Naturally curly hair was “darling” on a girl but a major pain for me, thus I kept mine cropped low. Our bodies were thin, like Dad’s. Thin and pale with too many freckles to count. Needless to say, Tabby and I spent our lives as one of two colors: Elmer’s glue or Elmo. Mom wasn’t a slouch, either—we inherited her baby blues. She was just shorter, stockier, and more athletic than the lot of us. She used to work as a corporate fitness trainer before the big heave-ho.

Of course, Mom and Tabby had these lips, too. On any other girl, I’d think Angelina Jolie. On my family members, I tried to envision Mick Jagger.

“Yeah. I shook his hand.”

Tabby wrinkled her nose. “He creeped me out.”

I smiled. “I told him you’d like to water his houseplants.”

“Not funny, Nick.” She glared at me. Despite the freckles and pasty skin, Tabby could glare just like Mom. “He really gave me the creeps. I got this vibe, like I could tell he wasn’t telling the truth just by looking at him. A feeling I have, I guess.”

“What, you’re psychic now?”

“You don’t have to be a jerk all the time.” She slammed the door and cranked her boy-band tunes.

Once in my room, I shut my own door. After the car ride and everything, I had enough of the family. Even so, I felt kind of lonely. Tabby and I were never close, not really anyway. But she was the only person I would know in school, and that had to count for something.

Flopping onto the bed, I stared at the ceiling, trying to imagine ways in which I could survive the year. Some clouds sailed across the sky, and my room filled with morphing shadows. I wasn’t used to the house, of course, but I didn’t expect so much midday darkness.

In fact, everything about the place felt wrong—the House, my mood, and, of course, the freak-show neighbor, Jeb Sanderson. My brain kept replaying the image of the old guy and his talon-like hands. “I had a son like you, once.” The blank look in his eyes sort of echoed the empty windows in the House.


The House Eaters is available for Kindle, Nook, and at Smashwords for 99cents, or in paperback for $6.99.

Have a great Sunday.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Saturday Podcast: "The House Eaters" (short story)


This week for your listening pleasure, "The House Eaters" from my short story collection, The Saints are Dead. Now available in dead tree format (paperback) or e-book (Kindle) from Aqueous Press. This story has absolutely nothing to do with my YA novel of the same name. Lousy marketing on my part? I don't know.

But it is one of my favorite shorts and an homage to both Julio Cortazar and Shirley Jackson.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Going Price for Lawn Service (and E-books)

Read KV Taylor's brilliant post about pricing to understand my inspiration.

Back in the summer of 1988, my brother and I started a lawn service. He'd taken care of several lawns when he was in high school in the late '70s/early '80s, and figured I needed a job. I was fresh out of seventh grade and wanted a Nintendo (original 8-bit variety).

Our base price? $5 a lawn. The going rate at the time started at $10. Of course we charged more for bigger lawns, but never more than $15. We worked together. He mowed around trees and did the trimming; I tackled the big, wide-open spaces. It was hard work. By mid July, I had my Nintendo.

Why charge less than competitors?

Volume, I guess. At the apex of our business, we managed something like 35 lawns a week.

Here's the e-book connection: volume = more readers. More readers means more potential fans. More potential fans means more potential "built-in" sales for your next book.

I've just released Borrowed Saints at $2.99. It's a YA novel, right around 50,000 words, and I spent plenty of time polishing it. Sales have been weak. Very weak. Sure, I need to so some more promotion, etc. Whatever one wants to argue about value and how much a consumer should pay--I believe e-book readers have come to expect $0.99 books from Indies. I didn't start it, and I sure didn't make it happen by myself.

Let's look at the math:

One e-book at $2.99 nets the author around $2 at 70% royalty rate. An author would need to sell six times as many books at $0.99 cents (35% royalty) to make (roughly) the same amount of money.

The math seems to argue for the higher rate, right?

But I think something else is going on, something more important. Even if you only make four sales at $0.99 to each one at $2.99, you've quadrupled your readers (or potential fans). Yes, less money now, but more potential money in the future. Like an investment, right?

When VT managed The House Eaters I sold one e-book at $4.99 in two months. Since they folded, I've sold more than 30 in a month. And yes, I'm only selling it for $0.99.

Volume can work wonders, even at very low prices.

Victorine E. Lieske has sold more than 100,000 copies of Not What She Seems at $0.99. That's a success story I'd take all the way to the bank. Granted, I don't write in the same genre and Victorine has spent a good amount of time marketing her book. But wow.

So what will I do with Borrowed Saints? What do you think I should do?


(Well, I did redo the cover. It will take a while to show on Amazon.)

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

It's Alive! (The House Eaters)

What he said. And by "It" I mean The House Eaters and by "Alive" I mean back in print.


Available through Createspace now for $6.99.

(Amazon and other retailers will take a few days to update).

Of course, you can still pick up a $0.99 ebook for Kindle, at Smashwords, or through Barnes & Noble for the Nook.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

What I Should Have Done Six Months Ago

Fair warning: It's one of those "Big Experiment" posts.

I should have started this "indie publishing" thing six months ago. Am I going to retire soon? No, not at $0.35 a book, but my sales are definitely growing month to month. And when I write "sales" what I really mean is "potential readers". This week alone, I've seen more sales than the entire month of March. The Bottom Feeders continues to be my bestselling book, with 22 copies and counting out the virtual door. Notice: I'm not selling a ridiculous amount of any one book, but several are selling modestly well. Each book is a potential reader--note I use the word potential. Do you read everything you buy?

Will the trend continue? I hope so. It's a pretty steep curve.

Scott Nicholson, an indie author who has traveled the "traditionally-published path" and man for whom I have a great deal of respect, recently posted a blog entry Marketing is Not Selling. Read it and the companion piece on IndieReader. My favorite bit: "...I am not screaming "Buy my book." I'd rather you feed your family, or buy some seeds, or donate to your favorite local charity. That's what I do when you buy my book."

Feed your family.

For the first time I feel like I might be able to actually contribute to my family through writing rather than taking away. Think about it: years spent banging at the keyboard when I could have been doing something else. I've taken myself away from my family for my fictional worlds. It isn't as simple as that, but the kernel of truth is there.

Look in the mirror, Aaron: You are not evil because you want to be compensated for your time and effort. Got it? Good.

Yes, I've been releasing e-books faster than Jerry puts the smack-down on Tom. I have a pool of over 100 published short stories, some of them smelly as last week's garbage (don't worry about seeing them again) and several unpublished shorts which were "that close". Why let them fester on my hard drive? It's taken me years to arrive at this point. Years and thousands upon thousands of words.

After my current round of edits on The Sons of Chaos and the Desert of the Dead, I'm going to put the finishing touches on Borrowed Saints for a May release. I'm toying with the idea of writing a House Eaters sequel this summer.

The bottom line: I want to be read. I might be able to spread some good fortune to my family. Sounds like goals are meeting reality, right?

I just wish I would have started six months ago.

What are you waiting for?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

#samplesunday The House Eaters

Chapter One - The House Eaters

I found the half-devoured house on our first afternoon in Broughton’s Hollow.

Dad and Mom were busy unpacking, Tabby was in her room being a moody fourteen-year-old, and I was bored. It was day one in Nowhere, Kansas, and my skull was already starting to ache. Okay, the place was officially called Evergreen Estates, and it was a new development, one of those places where people come in and smash old houses or bulldoze nature to make room for new construction. But Dad called the place Broughton’s Hollow because that was the name of the town when he was a kid. He grew up in nearby Springdale, the little town where I’d be a senior in the fall.

I figured the initials B.H. fit the place pretty well. B.H. as in black hole. As in goodbye social life, sorry to see you go, but Nick is stuck in Kansas, and no tornado is going to ferry his sorry butt to Oz.

Officially
, we moved because of Mom. Not because she wanted to; she was a city girl, St. Louis born and raised. No, we moved because Mom lost her job with Sprint. Dad was an English teacher, and they couldn’t afford our place in Kansas City. Tabby’s hospital bills still hung over the family, and the ’rents even had not-so-secret conversations about how a move might help her. I overheard them talking about it on more than one occasion even though it was hush-hush. Besides, the new house was cheap. “A steal,” Dad said.

Broughton’s Hollow—Evergreen Estates. Whatever. It was nothing like K.C.

So while everyone was unpacking, I decided to go for a run. After a long day, I was stiff, and I figured I could work in a few laps before dinner. Hitting a pool would be nicer—more my style, but then again anything would be nicer than moving two weeks before my senior year. Who knew if there was a decent lap pool within fifty miles? Evergreen was a new development, just about ten houses—all on a couple newly paved streets. I counted when we pulled in that morning. I wasn’t really paying too much attention, of course. I also had the whole “teenage resistance” thing going on, or so said Mom.

The streets were paved with varying degrees of success. The new streets, like ours, were smooth and black. The county roads and streets that held remnants of older houses surviving from Dad’s childhood lay in cracked stretches, with weeds and grass poking through the gashes. I ran down one of those roads, away from the development, following the county highway around low hills that sort of sheltered the Hollow. My long legs took the broken road in easy strides while I scanned the horizon. Kansas was flat, but mostly out west. In the northeast, little towns like Broughton’s Hollow were tucked away between hills and stands of cottonwood trees, lost amongst green smudges that marked rivers or streams.

I rounded a turn, and something hit me, landed in my gut with the force of a ball of ice. Even though it was July, I shivered. The sun was in hiding all day, resting behind a healthy layer of rain clouds, so it was colder than usual. But that wasn’t it.

I didn’t shiver because of the cold. There, in front of me, burrowed in the side of one of these low hills, rested the ruins of an old house, almost twice the size of our new place. A monster lurking in the shadows. It was a predator, an abomination—the outside walls were mostly smashed, almost peeled off, from a little tower that rose in the middle to the sprawling foundation. The roof was intact, but splinters of graying wood from the torn up siding jutted toward me like broken teeth. The sun peeked out just enough to ignite the front of the House before vanishing into the granite sky and bits of glass glinted like flickering eyes.

For a moment, the House was alive.

I was distracted while running, trying to ignore the stiffness in my legs and thinking about how much suckage I’d have to contend with at Springdale High, but then the House leapt out of nowhere, kind of like it was waiting in the shadows of the hill. With a quick glance to each side, I noticed I was a couple hundred yards from the edge of the development. My brain overcrowded with the feeling that the House was watching me.

I hurried back home. My feet pounded against the ground, and my heart clanged away inside my chest as I ran as fast as I could for the first hundred yards. My paced slowed, and I was almost fully thawed by the time I rounded the last of the highway and saw the old man standing on our porch, talking to Mom.

Instant freeze again.

Want some more? The House Eaters is on sale for a buck at Amazon.com and Smashwords.com.

Monday, April 11, 2011

What to Do When Your Publisher Dies

My Friday morning started with a deluge of emails from the Virtual Tales authors' group. Two of the four board members had resigned. My contract was declared "NULL and VOID". A year ago, I would have been devastated. The House Eaters has traveled a rough road. I thought it would be the book to land an agent--in fact, it came close. But that was a long time ago.

The world of publishing has seen many changes since then.

Instead of being paralyzed with frustration, I went into action. With my rights returned, I released The House Eaters this weekend for Kindle with a new cover. Smashwords and POD versions are forthcoming. For now, I'm offering the Kindle edition for the low price of 99 cents--a temporary sale for the re-release.

I love this book, and I hope many more people have the chance to love it, too.

Devastated? No. Not anymore.

I'm empowered.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Monday Meanderings & Ebook Week

So, it's Read an E-book Week? Who knew? I suppose I should mention I've uploaded my serialized novella, Black Medicine Thunder and the Sons of Chaos, to Kindle. The e-book version is available with two bonus stories and a sample chapter from Loathsome, Dark & Deep for 99 cents. How much did you pay for your last cup of coffee?


Plenty of other delicious e-bookage out there, too, including The Bottom Feeders, The House Eaters, the aforementioned Loathsome, Dark & Deep, and Rock Gods and Scary Monsters.

Because it is really about tearing down boundaries between writer/reader, each one of my indie published books (that would be self-published, wink-wink) is priced at 99 cents.

Speaking of indie-publishment, Strange Publications is taking pre-orders for Anthony J. Rapino's Uprooted chapbook through next weekend. Grab it and all the goodness for only $6. Real paper! Real art! Really good (and spooky) writing! Price includes world-wide shipping. You should stop by Anthony's new website and kick the tires, too. I hear there are contests.

Formatting is coming along for Cate Gardner's collection, Strange Men in Pinstripe Suits, and I hope to have that available for the Kindle (are you ready for this) for 99 cents by week's end.

Whew. So much to read. So affordable. So why not?

(I think I just channeled Monty Hall.)

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

The Thing About Books

An old high school buddy sent an email the other day. He'd just read Loathsome, Dark and Deep and told me "[I'm] Still reading two to three books a week and just wanted to tell you how impressed I was by yours."

This guy used to read about a book a day. No shit. He'd read all day at school, and then, in the evening, tell me everything he read. A true speed-reader. We haven't seen each other in years, part of the tragedy of adulthood, but used to hang every day. A note like that means more than a professional review.

Speaking of Loathsome, I went to the Lawrence Public Library last night to pick up a copy of Roald Dahl's Dirty Beasts for a forensics kid, and found Loathsome, Dark and Deep on the "new fiction" shelf. Pretty cool. Now someone please check it out so it doesn't have to sit there and let all the bigger books bully it.

Speaking of books, I'm running a Goodreads giveaway for The House Eaters. I've noticed The House Eaters has landed on a number of "to be read" shelves, more than my other books, so there must be something to this giveaway thing. Will all of those translate into sales or even reads? I don't know...but it is worth noting. If you're interested, you can sign up below:




Goodreads Book Giveaway



The House Eaters by Aaron Polson



The House Eaters




by Aaron Polson




Giveaway ends February 28, 2011.


See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.




Enter to win

Speaking of books (man, I need a new transition), I've arranged my first book signing. More soon.

Enjoy Tuesday.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Write 1 / Sub 1 Weekend Update #write1sub1

Well, I managed to get a piece of flash out into the ether this week, a short little thing titled "Why Susie McTavish Believes in Angels". I'm not sure it works, but it gave me shivers when I wrote it. We shall see...

I'm doing okay on the writing side of things but falling behind on editing and revising. I will not send a story out before it's ready. So, I have three longish tales (3K or more) written and waiting for editing/revision and another flash story in the queue. I suppose I should hammer them into shape before writing another word.

Speaking of hammers, one features as an important prop in The House Eaters, my YA horror book (which adults should dig, too) which was released this week. How's that for a segue?

If you're interested in a signed copy, drop me a line (aaron.polson@gmail.com). I'm selling them at cover price + shipping, so no gouging here. Maybe I should offer a discount...(haha)

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

WIP Wednesday Gets Out of the Way

Because The House Eaters is now available in paperback. I'm excited, of course, because I love this story and its sarcastic, wise-cracking narrator, Nick Gillingham.

Nick Gillingham knew that moving before his senior year would really suck... but he never imagined a nightmare like Broughton’s Hollow. It’s bad enough that Nick hears disembodied voices after moving near “the House”—a crumbling relic with a sinister past. But then the local football team decides to make him their new tackling dummy, the “hot babe” at school starts manipulating him for her own nefarious purposes, and his parents’ marriage falls apart. When Nick’s elderly neighbor hints that whatever lurks within “the House” might be the cause of his troubles, he sets out to uncover the truth behind the local Indian legend of the “Eating Monster.” Nick will to have to rely on a band of social outcasts from school—and his looney kid sister—to put his life and family back together again. But even if he survives a close encounter with “the House,” Nick will still need to find a date for the homecoming dance...

So yeah, to sum up: excited. You can purchase a copy at Amazon.com or signed copies through me (just send an email to aaron.polson@gmail.com). Ebook edition to follow soon...

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Steal My Book

Really, I don't mind. In fact, I encourage you to steal my book. The way I figure it--and I'm stealing the idea from Cory Doctorow, proving piracy of ideas is pretty common--anyone who steals my book wasn't going to pay for it in the first place.

What am I talking about? Well, I discovered (through the magic of Google Alerts...if you are an author and don't have one set to your name do it now) The Bottom Feeders is available through a file sharing site. Another site has it available for $1.99. Ha! Good luck selling it, folks. I'm not doing so hot at $.99. (5 sold in January so far...)

But I digress. Please, feel free to trade my book "illegally". Any of my books, actually. If it means more people read the books--awesome. The problem, see, is that most book pirates probably don't read all those files. Pirates pirate because they can--I'd say some are addicted to file downloading. I want to meet readers who are addicted to reading. So steal my book. Steal it all over the place. Just leave my name on it, okay, because not to do so would be the real theft.

Speaking of free things and reading, you can sign up for a free preview of The House Eaters. Just fill in the appropriate info off to the left. The book is coming. Soon.

In fact, it goes to print tonight...barring any major problems.

Excited?

Yes.


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Trailer Schmailer

I've tooled around with Sony Vegas Studio a little of late, and look what popped out:



(I recommend viewing at YouTube; just click on the title in the top left of the video box.)

I also discovered The House Eaters is now listed at Goodreads. Spooky, really.


Thanks to anyone who has read the first installment of "Black Medicine Thunder..." over at The Red Penny Papers. KV Taylor has put together one fabulous piece of digital pulp.

Today, a group of consultants will film me "doing my thing" in my classroom. Spookiest moment yet. (They even plan to show it to other teachers...the fools!)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

WIP Wednesday: Blood from a Stone

The boys and I paid visit to Grandma this week, allowing me another opportunity to mine my poor ol' hometown for story ideas. How many times can I squeeze words (blood) out of these stones?

The factory building which inspired "Spider and I" is gone. Gone-gone. It used to be in front of the ugly sheds in the picture above.


These limestone gates still guard Greenwood Cemetery. I've called it by various names in the past, but the cemetery, and the creepy pond behind it, inspired various tales, including "The Bottom Feeders" and the as-yet unpublished "Wanting It". I learned to drive on the gravel roads in Greenwood. I guess Mom thought I couldn't do much damage to the residents.


I love the old, creaky Carnegie Library downtown. It's one of only 30-odd Carnegie Libraries in the U.S. still used as a library. The sinister top floor spawned "In the Primal Library". I've also used it as a setting in my YA WIP (crying out to be edited and revised), Borrowed Saints.

There's more, of course. Hell, the whole town of Clay Center has become my fictional Springdale (setting of The House Eaters and several stories). It's not the most original location, but it's mine. I'll keep on squeezing as long as she has something to give.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

WIP Wednesday: Finish Line? What Finish Line?

Borrowed Saints is now longer than my final, soon-to-be-published draft of The House Eaters. That being said, the book is still 4-5K away from completion (and that total doesn't include additional bits I need to add upon rewrite). Right now, it stands at 43K.

Phoebe's uncle, EG, signed her out of the psychiatric hospital, and on the drive home:

He hadn’t said a word since signing her out of the hospital.

Something about his face—she couldn’t quite place it, but something was wrong with EG’s face. The lines around his cheeks and nose had sharpened, become less the soft, rounded kindness of her burly uncle and become more angular and stern. She’d seen the look before, but couldn’t place it.

The hum of the engine and the tires against blacktop filled the cab of the truck until the sound joined with the chilly fear in her stomach and became something new. Something vile and wretched. “I think I’m going to be sick,” she said.

The EG-thing grunted.

Yeah...it's not really just her uncle in there anymore. Tomorrow, I blather on about "identity", and on Friday, I send out a free, unpublished story to my newsletter subscribers. Join the club, eh?

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Pictures Tell the Story

(yes I'm reading about buffalo...it's research...wink, wink)


Owen's been having some Cthulhu inspired dreams?


...and, oh goody-goody, I've seen a draft cover for The House Eaters, and it's spooky in a vintage pulp horror/Nancy Drew/paperback book from the '60s sort of way. I'm giddy. Drunk with giddiness.