On Persistence

Today we visit the ghost of words past...

I had originally written this for the Shimmer blog when they first published my short story, "The House was Never a Castle"--my first and only sale to that market. It's a fabulous publication, and I'm happy to note it is still drawing breath.

I value all the words, especially those from a time to which I cannot return. Persistence--resilience's first cousin--has so much value in life.

(Cue flashback music...)

My four-year-old son, Max, plays with the Soccer Hobbits on Saturday mornings, and no one keeps an “official” score. Soccer Hobbits focuses on playing, learning to love the game, experience, and fun. When Max pursues the ball during scrimmage, however, the look of grim determination on his face speaks all business. Max might not be as big or as fast as some of his peers, but he makes up for his lack of prowess with sheer guts and persistence. One tiny tap of the ball, even if it is stolen a microsecond later, proves enough to keep the fight in his tiny legs.

I can’t help but draw a parallel to what it takes to stay in the game as a writer.

Anyone can write. I have to believe as much to survive my day job as a high school English teacher. Some days are harder than others, for my students as well as me. Writing well and developing one’s craft requires patience. Patience requires a healthy dose of perspective. Since I started my writing journey four years ago, I’ve gained as much perspective as any bit of craft. Rejection is part of the game, and I’ve received my share. Each “no” used to sting like a solid punch in the gut, knocking the writing wind out of me.

But persistence requires a certain level of stubbornness despite little defeats. I listened to editors. I dusted off my knees and worked harder. I read. I’ve read the best in the field, devouring year’s best volumes, retrospective collections, award winners—trying to unlock the magic. Along the way, I identified what I liked, what worked and what didn’t, in the stories I read. I made a mental list. I wrote, too. Every day. Even days when I was too sick or tired or defeated to keep going, I forced at least one hundred words on a page, just as Max forces his little legs to keep pumping on the soccer field.

I first submitted to Shimmer in 2007. By my count, I’ve beleaguered the editorial staff with 27 manuscripts over the past few years. Persistence requires a writer to believe the next time will be it, the golden message, an acceptance letter with contract attached. It’s a sort of insanity, really, trying to find a home for one’s stories in highly competitive markets. For a writer to stay with the game, a writer must believe each story is better than the last, each story is a move forward.

And finally, most of all, a writer must be patient—as patient with her/himself as with a market’s submission wait-time. Craft does improve, only with time and effort; no “magic writing beans” exist, no overnight elixirs of brilliance. Stories need patience, too. Patience to develop. Patience for the characters and setting and plot cogs to snap together in the right way. Sometimes patience requires a story be set aside for months, as I did with “The House was Never a Castle.” I’m not the same writer I was when I first submitted to Shimmer back in 2007. I won’t be the same writer a year from now. 

Max can keep playing soccer as long as he loves it; I’ll hammer away, story after story, page after page, word after word, putting my patience and persistence to the test.

A Shimmery Survey

So Shimmer does this readers' survey with each issue, and you can vote for your favorite story from #14 here. I'm not suggesting you pick my story (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), but it's fun to take surveys.

On Inspiration

I've killed more muses than I care to count, but somehow, in the midst of chaos, I still find inspiration.

In fact, I can almost turn it on at will. Three sure-fire methods:

1. Read quality fiction.
2. Watch an awards show.
3. Watch the Rush documentary, Beyond the Lighted Stage.

Number 1 always makes me want to work harder. I don't do number 2 because I hope to "be there someday". It's more of a, "wow--look at all of these people chasing their dreams" (and a little bit of "Really? That won an award?"). Number 3 is the textbook example of doing it your way. Rush is awesome, but polarizing. People I know either love/hate them. I'm firmly in the "love" camp.

The problem isn't with inspiration. The problem is energy. Time is at a premium as is my ability to focus for more than five minutes at a time.

But I'm not going to quit.

Ideas, you see, can haunt a person if let to fester. They can crust over, split open, and bleed into other parts of one's life. Those ideas just won't go away--not once the seeds are planted and watered. The inspiration is there.

What I need is an energy transfusion.

_____

Speaking of good fiction, Shimmer 14 is available for Kindle at the muse-proof price of 99 cents.

Reviews, Publication, Strange Happenings

More children at home = less writing time and less time to blog about the nonsense I like to blog about.

Here is today's smorgasbord. (Mmmmm... smorgasbord...)

Both SF Revu and Locus have reviewed Shimmer #14, saying things like "unsettling little tale" (Sam Tomaino, SF Revu) and "I am not entirely convinced that there is anyone actually alive in this world. Except the bugs and worms." (Lois Tilton, Locus) about my story, "This House was Never a Castle". I'm not sure the bugs and worms are even alive--at least for long (the children eat them, you see).

Morpheus Tales has collected a "best of" issue and included my story about fungus gone wild, "A Most Unfortunate Gaffe". You can check out the always disturbing cover art and buy a copy here. 

And finally, Echoes of the Dead hit some sort of milestone yesterday--I've never had a sales burst like this for one of my books before, even after going free. Maybe it's a little instant karma for the pirate/plagiarism bullshite? It's sales rank was around 7K when I woke this morning. I'm no "J.K. Patterson" (all sarcasm intended), but I'll take it. 

Have a great weekend, folks

Shimmer 14

A pleasant, non-healthcare related distraction... Whew. I need one of those.

Shimmer #14 has been released to the wild, including:

Food My Father Feeds Me, Love My Husband Shows Me, by A. A. Balaskovits

Chinvat, by Sunny Moraine

Made of Mud, by Ari Goelman

This House was Never a Castle, by Aaron Polson

Minnow, by Carlea Holl-Jensen

Trashman, by A.C. Wise

We Make Tea, by Meryl Ferguson

Bad Moon Risen, by Eric Del Carlo

Some Letters for Ove Lindström, by Karin Tidbeck

Gödel Apparition Fugue, by Craig DeLancey

You can read Eric Del Carlo's piece, "Bad Moon Risen," free online. But I know you want a copy, don't you?


Well, don't you?

Weird and Creeepy Shopping List

As promised, I bring you a small shopping list for the weird reader on your list. (click on the images for purchasing info)

Yes, it may seem a little self-serving (being a Strange Publications book and all), but Cate's collection is wonderful. Check out www.strangemeninpinstripesuits.com and read the reviews.

I'm a big fan of just about everything Kim Paffenroth has written. If you haven't taken a peek at Valley of the Dead yet, you should grab a copy (or buy two and send one to a loved one). Smart horror, folks.

When I was seven, my sister gave me one of the best gifts she could: a subscription to the Star Wars comic book (then produced by Marvel). How about giving that fantasy lover a subscription to a nice small press mag like Shimmer?

Or, for the horror fan on your list, a subscription to Necrotic Tissue, a magazine which never fails to entertain.

Okay, so some people like poetry. Some people like their poetry weird (and somewhat dark). Stuff A Mouth for Picket Fences by Barry Napier in their stocking.

I'll wrap up with a gift which never fails to put a smile on my face: old EC comics from the '50s. Reprints (and some originals) are readily available on eBay. You might even snag one of the increasingly rare hardcover reprints.

What reading material do you plan on buying for the ghouls on your holiday list?

The Beast

The Beast wants you to stop writing.

The Beast lusts for failure, self-defeat, and destructive self-talk.

It is always hungry.

It tells you each rejection isn't just a rejection of your story, it's a rejection of you, the person.

The Beast lies.

The Beast will always be hungry.

It smells exhaustion and frustration and resentment and jealousy like a shark noses blood in the water.

But you can defeat the beast.

You win each time you submit a story, each time you have the courage to sit down in front of a blank screen, each time your pencil or pen touches paper. You spank the beast on the nose each time you write despite the odds, despite the reward, despite what anyone--including yourself--might say.

It's weak, really, this Beast. Weak and small and alone, and it wants you to feel that way, too.

It will always be hungry because it is a nothing, a hollow thing. Empty.

Read my post on Shimmer's blog about fighting the Beast with persistence.

WIP Wednesday: On Magic

Sometimes, I make up silly stories and they just don't "work". For some reason, the oddments and bits don't gel; they don't come together and construct a cohesive whole. When it does work, it borders on magic. Writers--especially those who write speculative fiction--know the feeling.

Sometimes, I wait until I arrive at school to check my email inbox.

Today, I received an acceptance from Shimmer for my short story, "The House was Never a Castle".

Today, I nearly had a heart attack in my classroom. Thank goodness school had yet to start.

I've lost track of my submissions to Shimmer. I'm sure the total is embarrassingly high. I'm not the sort who cranks a home run on his first at bat. Maybe better that I'm not. But today I feel like words can work magic.

*So, yeah, I have this work in progress on a short piece involving a barge on the Congo River, an almost man who eats beetles, and a monster in the water...just sayin' since it's technically WIP Wednesday.

Quiet. Foggy. Day.

I'm not much of a fingernail nibbler, but I have a few subs out that are twisting my gut into little knots. Shimmer opened to subs again this week, and I would love to find my way into that pub. The in box has been so silent lately...

I'm cruising on the YA novel. I've hit 30K (with probably another 3K I need to go back and add to earlier parts). The book is in full third act mode, plenty of climax, and I can't seem to write fast enough to satisfy my craving to see how it all works out. I predict about 40K by the end. I don't know how folks can do those word count meters...I had no expectations when I started.

Outside: Fog. The world is quiet in north-east Kansas.

Inside: I wish I was home, locked in what Aimee calls "the man cave", writing my fingers to the bloody stubs, because today is perfect for The House Eaters.