Wednesday, December 2, 2009

WIP Wednesday: Quick and Dirty

After the introspective spew of the last two posts, here's something quick and dirty. Loathsome rewrites are done, and I'm damned pleased with the book. Yeah, it's short (after one more round of edits I'm expecting 68K), but it's tasty. I stayed up to finish last night because the final third propelled me to do so. I guess that's a plus for a climax, eh?

My favorite exchange in the the whole book (spoilers abound, but you know you're going to read anyway):

“I’ve seen things, Mr. Barlow. I’ve heard things. Men crying in the night. The sobs of the forest.” He held out his hands in a sort of plea. “There’s real darkness here.” As he spoke, one of his hands patted his chest.

I bent and picked up the gun. It was heavy. Solid.

Curt continued. “Do you know how easy it is to pervert a man’s mind? Just a few drops of chemical, really. Dr. Scheller showed me how. The right drops and they become cattle.” He chuckled and shook his head.

I stood with the gun in my hand, the barrel pointing toward the floor.

“Men should never be cattle, Mr. Barlow.” He rubbed a hand across the front of his face. “But Dr. Scheller showed me how to make them more than cattle. He made them bigger than life. With a few additional drops, they became legends. Myths.”

“He made monsters,” I said, aiming the weapon at Curt. “He killed innocent men.”

“Oh, I’ve seen horrors, Mr. Barlow. Horrors. You think any of us get out alive?” Curt sighed. His shadow slumped. “Do it.”

What do you think? A little bleak?

14 comments:

Cate Gardner said...

Can anything be too bleak? Actually, I'll take that back, Jude, the Obscure is soul-scarringly bleak.

Congrats on finishing the rewrite.

Aaron Polson said...

Cate - Jude the Obscure...eek. (and thanks)

Jamie Eyberg said...

I don't consider that a spoiler, that was taunting. It makes me beg to know more. Curse you, in a good sort of way.

Matt said...

Quick and dirty? Oh the jokes I could make, the innuendo.

Congrats on finishing, that's very cool!

So what's next? Do you have research done on where it's going next as far as final readers, agents or publishers? Or am I too excited for you to get this out there?

Aaron Polson said...

Jamie - I'll take your curse.

Matt - I have a final reader set up, then who knows? It's a short book, and some agents won't touch short. I started writing with "small press" in mind. Either way, I need to knock out a query letter, synopsis, etc. I'm usually way too excited to get it out there, but these things take time.

Natalie L. Sin said...

Nice!

L.R. Bonehill said...

Sounds great. Bleak is always good.

Aaron Polson said...

Natalie - Thanks.

L.R. - I agree (about the bleak part)

Danielle Ferries said...

Now I'm dying to read more.

Barry Napier said...

I agree with Jamie. That was a tease, not a spoiler. Great exchange, by the way!

Carrie Harris said...

I think it's a good kind of bleak. Am I the only person who reads "Mr. Barlow" and immediately thinks Salem's Lot?

Aaron Polson said...

Danielle - please don't...not before you read the rest. ;)

Barry - Thanks.

Carrie - Um, I sort of did that on purpose. Gives you a sense of "uh, should I trust this Barlow guy, or not?"

katey said...

There's nothing in the world like finishing something and actually being pleased with it. It's only happened to me once or twice, but man, I cling to that. Congratulations!

Love the exchange-- extraordinarily bleak, even, but in the best possible way. A great example of how dialogue can really show us who we're dealing with, even out of context.

Aaron Polson said...

Katey - Finished is good. (as good as it gets for right now)