Friday, July 8, 2011

My Interview with an Inanimate Sheet of Drywall

Me: Good morning, drywall. How are you today?

Drywall:

Me: I see. Not feeling very talkative today. So... How are things? I hear you're about to be attached to the wall in my basement. How do you feel about that?

Drywall:

Me: Oh. Silent protest. I get it. So can you at least tell me what you like to do in your spare time?

Drywall:

Me: Favorite summer paint colors?

Drywall:

Me: Any pets?

Drywall:

Me: Hobbies?

Drywall:

Well... You can see where this is going. How about heading over to Eschatology and reading my short, post-apocalyptic story, "Full Count".

And have a great weekend.

10 comments:

Milo James Fowler said...

Nice one -- tight imagery.

AnthonyJRapino said...

Wow! A deep and atmospheric story. I love how this seems to investigate what remains long after the Apocalypse, far into the life of a survivor. And also, was that an allusion Whitman I spied? ;-)

Your interview with the drywall gave me a good chuckle. I'm a sucker for the absurd.

AnthonyJRapino said...

Allusion *to* Whitman. Blast it.

Natalie L. Sin said...

I think the drywall was checking you out ; )

Aaron Polson said...

Thanks, Milo.

Anthony - if it was an allusion, it was totally unintentional. I'm going to re-read and see if I can sniff it out.

Natalie - speechless as he/she/it basked in my glow. Right. ;)

Simon Kewin said...

Do you think you maybe need to, you know, get out for a bit? Go have some fun? That drywall isn't going anywhere ...

AnthonyJRapino said...

Ha, yeah, I'm a nerd. I was referring to your line: "He spits on the ground and yells—not a word, but a raw, barbaric yawp."

I thought it was an allusion to Whitman's *Leaves of Grass/Song of Myself:* "I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world."

Okay...I have to go clean out my pocket protector... :-P

Christine said...

You really gotta watch your back when the drywall gives you the silent treatment.
Two summers ago when the Chief and I decided to hang some in our addition...excuse me while I tremble and my scars throb...I got my ass kicked by a surprise attack that just about killed me.

My advice? Don't friend the drywall.

Cate Gardner said...

I didn't think it was possible but I swear your writing is getting better and better. I think we may be at flawless.

Katey said...

Stupid drywall >.<

I think I mentioned on twitter that I loved it. Well, I did! Cate's right, you really just keep blowing me away, more and more every time.