Friday, February 19, 2010

#fridayflash Luck

"There's a couple of things you're going to have to understand about this job."

Jerry nods.

"First of all," Franz speaks slowly, like he's explaining the why the sky's blue to a five-year-old, "the job has some drawbacks."

"Drawbacks. Check." A pen wiggles against a notebad in Jerry's hand.

"The temperature in here for one. Get yourself a nice coat. A jacket. Light and flexible but enough to keep the chill off."

"Jacket, check."

Franz grips a handle and walks the drawer out to full extension. A body lays bewteen them, covered with a sheet. "Second of all, these poor sons-of-bitches smell pretty bad."

"Bad smell, check."

Franz grips the sheet at one end and pulls back enough to reveal a pair of bluish feet. A toe tag dangles on the left big toe. He bends forward, squinting at the tag. "92 years old, well..."

Jerry's pencil is motionless. "I don't get it."

Franz produces a pair of snips and slides one of the dead man's toes between its blades. He squeezes the handles together. A click echoes through the morgue, and the toe drops into Franz's waiting palm. "There's some benefits, too."

Jerry scribbles. "Benefits..."

"For one, nobody ever checks too closely after we're done with them."

"Right." Jerry pauses for a moment and frowns. "I don't get it."

"Toes, man." Franz draws the sheet over the corpse's feet and slides the drawer home with a resonate thunk. "I figure they're better than rabbits' feet, especially on some SOB that lives this long. Lot of luck in making it to 92, Jerry."

15 comments:

Cathy Olliffe said...

HA! Very funny! Nice fast pace and kitchy fun to read. Good stuff!

Jamie Eyberg said...

Ewww.

Tony Southcotte said...

That was one of the better flash pieces I have read for a long time. Good stuff :)

K.C. Shaw said...

You are one messed-up guy, and I love that. :) Very fun story, absolutely unexpected ending!

Jeremy D Brooks said...

You may have started a trend of Lucky Grandpa Toes.

katey said...

Hahaha oh man. Way too much fun. Franz, you are awesome.

Aaron Polson said...

Cathy - I do pulp.

Jamie - Right on.

Tony - Thank you, sir.

K.C. - #flashfriday is just a playground. Thanks for reading.

Jeremy - Maybe we could sell them on keychains.

Katey - I like the way he thinks.

Natalie L. Sin said...

*giggles* I'd love to see that guy's key ring : )

Aaron Polson said...

Natalie - He has spares.

Alan W. Davidson said...

Ha! I can just picture Franz feeding a length of leather through individual toes and selling them on Ebay. Nice Ewww factor, Mr. Polson.

Akasha Savage. said...

Again, excellent!

mazzz in Leeds said...

No wonder I haven't won the lottery yet, I must get myself a nonagenarian toe charm bracelet.

Clive Martyn said...

Probably more sensible than Rabbit's feet :) Well done.

abrokenlaptop said...

I'm totally yicking out over here. Toes! Ugh, gross!

-Mercedes

peggy said...

I laughed, then felt horrible for laughing. Fun flash.