Friday, September 18, 2009

Ergonomic My...

The principal drones on, and Bob's chair comes to life.

At first, he is only aware of a dull sensation in his buttocks like bits of broken wood poked him through his shorts.

Bob shifts his weight, trying to wake his slumbering muscles. The chair moves with him. The metal feet skid across the tile floor, creating a jarring screech. The other teachers glare, some with mouths open. Voices blur together.

"I never..."

"Bob, really..."

"What's wrong?"

He answers with a yelp. The dull sensation sharpens as jagged bits of plastic snap off and push through cotton and into the meat of his upper thighs. The chair, it seems, has claws. As Bob stands, the chair comes too. He stumbles a few awkward, chair-stuck-to-butt steps and collides with the table. The others mumble as they hurriedly skirt around Bob and out the door. Blood trickles down the back of his thighs, staining his calf-high athletic socks. Tears squeak from the corners of his eyes.

"Pull..." he begs, slumping to the floor, but the room is empty.

Empty except for the other chairs, all of them now awake and snapping their sharp plastic teeth as they march on the downed man.



__________




I wrote that during a meeting earlier this week. Could you tell?


Read on: "A World in Rubber, Soft and Malleable" is up at A Fly in Amber. I'd love it if you'd stop by, comment and rate. I might even feature your name in a future Friday Flash.


Fifty-Two Stitches is now available at Amazon.com. You know you want a copy...



17 comments:

Carrie Harris said...

That flash is AWESOME. And the Fly in Amber story is even awesomer.

Which isn't a word, but you know what I mean.

K.C. Shaw said...

I loved the Friday story, and then I went and read the Fly in Amber story and--well, Carrie's right, it's even awesomer. And brilliant!

I couldn't figure out how to comment/rate. Possibly my work computer blocks that part, ahem.

Aaron Polson said...

Thanks, Carrie. I had trouble placing that story, but I loved the voice.

KC - Thanks to you, too. I hate our machines at work; they block "everything".

Jodi Lee said...

Ow ow ow owowowowwow.

I remember those chairs. That you wrote that during a meeting honestly doesn't surprise me. ;) Well done, Aaron!

L.R. Bonehill said...

Great story over at A Fly in Amber. Hard to believe you had trouble placing that one.

Barry Napier said...

Hey man, those chairs are scary enough without your story! Still, good tale!

Aaron Polson said...

Jodi - yeah...meetings. One of my coworkers always complains "his butt hurts".

LR - thanks. Markets are fickle.

Barry - I shudder at the thought of a molded plastic world.

Alan W. Davidson said...

Great flash! And we had to sit on chairs like that at last night's parent-teacher conference...luckily we got out unscathed.

Cate Gardner said...

Wonders if Aaron's colleagues know about his blog... Shall check out your story after tea.

Aaron Polson said...

Alan - and parent teacher conferences no less! I'm glad you made it.

Cate - I wonder too...

Natalie L. Sin said...

They targeted the most precious part of the human body *shudder*

ElanaJ said...

Holy cow, that sums meetings up in a heartbeat. In fact, I WISH my chair would do that during a meeting. Ha!

onipar... said...

Nicely done. I've felt like this many times.

Must have been some meeting.

Jameson T. Caine said...

Randomly throwing in a chair like that at every meeting might help liven things up. No one knows who might be sitting on it.

Loved the story at A Fly in Amber. Very mysterious and spooky.

katey said...

Just when you think Friday can't be awesomer, along comes Aaron. That was too much fun!

Loved the Fly in Amber story, as I said there. You wrote about an artist, and did it well. You have won my eternal affection! (Well you probably did that before, but hey.)

abrokenlaptop said...

This story was simply incredible. Very haunting and yet sweet. Also, I could hear the paint cans in my mind, and it's rare that reading a story will evoke sound for me. Excellent! :)

David said...

I just saw one of those kind of chairs on homeofficesolutions.com. They're really affordable right now too, they're having a big sale.